An explosive new post from WikiLeaks, the whistleblowing website, has exposed Sarah Palin not only as an operative for Russia but also as a robotic device. The Preyat Yeletza Rawdeena XL-3 (roughly translated as "Homeland Girlfriend"), was created by rogue KGB agents who wanted Russia to return to the old style regime of the Soviet Union.
WikiLeaks documents reveal that this clandestine group, the Chashka Chayou Partenny or Teacup Political Party (TPP), was bent upon destroying the American way of life. TPP leader Yuri Boltnikov writes that he believed America could be fooled by an attractive female robot "with an opiate of the people Bible in one hand and, in the other, a flag of America waving."
Boltnikov reflected upon his accomplishment. "They laugh at plans I think up, saying Boltnikov is a bolt-head for thinking American imperialistic people are stupid in the head enough to fall over such garbage as female robot talking trash to them. But look whose faces I can laugh in now."
"My little metal girlfriend soon to be next leader of the so-called free world." Boltnikov admitted there was one problem with his creation. "Only problem with robot," he lamented, "is once she gets to moving on, but too soon it quits."
According to the exposed WikiLeaks documents, the robot has met with success due to the unwavering promotion by other enemies of the American people such as Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Fox News -- a subsidiary of the old Pravda, whose slogan in Russian translates approximately to "we show the news sides, peoples decide how right we are" -- and most of the Republican Party who's economic policies have crippled the once great American economy.
Boltnikov said the real Sarah Palin was killed by a charging moose in a hunting accident in March 1989 near Chicken, Alaska. "It was much easy to have replaced her with robot girl, as we from Russia can see Sarah Palin's house."